I filled my car to the rim last Wednesday night. to. the. rim. I put 8 doors, stands for the doors, bins of necklaces, cuffs, extra tools, business cards, post cards, koozies, everything you can imagine you might need to set up for the biggest show you've ever done. Three days. Thousands of people expected.
Laura and I did a lot of "what if" talk all day Thursday and Friday. Saturday was maybe Sunday will be better. Sunday was we are tired and we need to figure out what the lessons were in this four day weekend away from our families. Ugh. I barely made enough to cover my expenses. We had a lot of lookers. A lot of, "What? This is a door hinge!!". I know it's unconventional. I know some pieces aren't for everyone. I'm an artist and create using discards from architectural finds.
I'm rethinking what I'm doing. It's hard not to listen to the numbers. I have so many supporters and so many people that give me so much love and confidence. I want to go down to my studio and recreate every necklace. I want to stop what I'm doing. Why am I putting so much money and time into this business? It's been successful and seems to have the potential to grow. I have to learn where to grow. I've never wanted to grow quickly. I've always wanted to just be creative. It's so hard to let others tell you what they think. Why do we always listen to those that are negative? It makes me think the ones that are positive are just saying that to be nice.
Going all out and working hard and then feeling like a failure hurts. I know I'm here to use my creativity. I know it makes me happy. I know there are many lessons in this journey that I have to learn. I want to take all of this…positive and negative and learn from it.
I'm heading out again this weekend to Southern Makers in Montgomery. I've had my work at this show for two years. I'm putting it all out there again. I don't want to be a quitter. I want to learn. I want to hear criticism and learn from it.
I read this on Monday. I needed to hear it.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 40:29-31